Gamblor and His Crafty Parlour Tricks

Day 54. Location: Las Vegas, Nevada.

I’m going to present two stories to you. One is truth, the other is fabrication.

Story 1:
James, Lauren and Mellisa (an L.A. friend) use a contact to get on the door at a ritzy nightclub that ordinarily costs $50 and some player-power to get into. They go. James—who had previously been hoping to run into Ben Affleck at a high-rollers table—light-heartedly promises me that he’s going to meet Affleck at said club and take him home (presumably to get naked and try on my hoodies). Over their R.T.’s the taxi drivers are talking to each other about Britney Spears being at the club. O.J. Simpson has just been arrested for the armed robbery of a casino down the road. James, Lauren and Melissa return back to our hotel room at 2am with a gentleman who looks a little like Ben Affleck at first take, but turns out to be a New York venture capitalist here on business.

Story 2:
James, Lauren and Mellisa sneak into a ritzy nightclub that ordinarily costs $50 and some player-power to get into. James—who had previously been hoping to get Ben Affleck to look at a script he’s been working on about life at a New Zealand boarding school (working title: Soggy Biscuit)—light-heartedly promises me that he’s going to meet Affleck at said club and take him home. Lauren runs into The Killers’ Brandon Flowers outside and they chat about how James looks like the drummer in his band. O.J. Simpson has just been arrested for the armed robbery of a casino down the road. James, Lauren and Melissa return back to our hotel room at 2am with a gentleman who looks a little like Jenny Shipley at first take, but turns out to be Ben Affleck. They negotiate a deal with Paramount Pictures for the filming of Soggy Biscuit, with an option on two sequels.

***

As you probably expected, the first story is the truer account, although it wasn’t James bringing the guy home—Venture Capitalist Matt followed the group back to the hotel in the hope of macking Mellisa, and was a little disappointed to find that the four of us were already sharing two beds.  (James wanted to be little spoon but that’s just not how I play ball.)  Venture Capitalist Matt eventually left after some awkwardness.  Story two, however, is not altogether implausible, nor would it be bizarre, were it to happen.

Because this is Las Vegas. And Las Vegas is a little different to elsewhere.

The Mandalay and Luxor. Nobody ever pulls the seams around here…

Our hotel is a pyramid. With a near life-size Sphinx at the front. And a casino. And an IMAX theatre. And a nightclub that was opened by Britney Spears a few weeks ago. And a spotlight that protrudes out of the top at night—the brightest beam in the world.

There’s a castle next door that looks something like Portugal’s Pentra Palace, or maybe the setting of Fantasia. Definitely Disneyfied.

And—my favourite—New York City is on the corner. Complete with Statue of Liberty, Manhatten skyline hotel rooms, Brooklyn Bridge and scarily impressive Coney Island roller coaster. Inside the shops are laid out as an accurate replica of Greenwich Village.

Down Las Vegas Boulevard (a.k.a. The Strip), a little further past M&M’s World, is Paris. With its half-size replica Eiffel Tower, Montgolfier balloon, Arc de Triomphe, La Fontaine des Mers, Opera House and Louvre.

Paris. It ain’t hard to hold when it shines like gold.

A few more blocks down at the Venetian you can ride the canals of Venice.

Then there’s those three swanky Hotel/Casinos—the Bellagio, The Mirage and the MGM Grand—that George Clooney and posse rip off in the remake of Ocean’s 11.

And these are all more-or-less on the same road, within walking distance.

Now I didn’t expect to like this place very much, but in a bizarre kind of way, I really did. It’s a trip. As I saw it, Las Vegas is a peculiar combination of beauty and ugliness. It represents all that’s pleasurable and verbose about modernity. The near perfect artificial replications are surreal and attractive, and in many ways as impressive as the originals. But it’s not really there to honour what it’s reproducing; it’s merely a device to take money off people gambling, drinking and in some cases, looking at boobs.

The Bellagio and Caser’s Palace. A southern drawl and a world unseen.

A cultural theorist could have a field day studying Las Vegas as a heterotopia (and many probably have), so I’ll try to keep this straightforward. I can simplistically surmise Las Vegas’s reason for existence as such: it’s there to make money. But why do people like to go there so much?

1. The different kind of holiday
“Make the patrons feel like they’re rich”. This is what Las Vegas casino moguls must say to their design team. Sleeping in your casino is this weird combination of feeling like royalty (the Casino/hotels are affordable and very plush), but with the kitsch nostalgia of being at a school camp. There’s something so fun about living inside the same fancy building that you also spend all day/night gambling, eating and swimming in. There’s no outside lighting, so you never know what time it is. Walking around at 3am feels like 7pm. It’s so different to normal life you feel like you’re living at Disneyland. (Only Disneyland doesn’t have 12-year old Mexican kids on the street handing out flyers to titty shows.)

2. Gambling
People like to risk a little in the hope of making a lot, and Vegas patrons set aside a certain amount of dinero to lose. It’s expected, and works out great for the casino owners. The illegality of gambling in some states like California adds to Las Vegas’s uniqueness and destination appeal. Also, Vegas is kind of like “family” gambling. There’s none of the self-loathing that one feels if they were at a seedy Indian Casino, surrounded by alcoholics and addicts. Many take their kids, and there are plenty of attractions lined up for them.

3. The party expectations from pop culture mythology
Maybe it’s to get rich, maybe it’s to get laid, maybe it’s to inquisitively take in the irony, or maybe it’s just to have some fun. Whichever, people have high hopes thanks to the countless references to Las Vegas in film, television and literature. In everyday life the line between pop culture and reality is easily blurred; in Vegas, you run all over it. As they say, there’s no other place like it on Earth.

New York-New York. It’s good to have you with us, even if it’s just for the day.

***

On Saturday night James and I went to seminal indie rock band Modest Mouse at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. It was rad. And if you were wondering, we both made a little coin on the slots. I took home $1.50, which I happily spent on celebratory Chips Ahoy! at some unseemly hour. James made $46.

Luckiest Men on Earth?

Next up: we’re back in L.A. for four nights, then off to San Diego. I miss you all like America misses The America’s Cup.

(NB: Big photo upload yesterday, and some were added to James’s previously photoless blog below. Ch-ch-check it out.)

Posted by Jonathan

Tags: gambling, Las Vegas, Media, Philosophy, Sociology